He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
