i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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