Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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