Kiss
Puke
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
