so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
