reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
