just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
