just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
