Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
