this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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