someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
