this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wish i was in the wii world.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's not a walk of shame if you run
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
