i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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