Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
