She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He has the fingertips of a God
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
