do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
