What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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