So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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