I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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