suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
