true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
