And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
