We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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