put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
