omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
