No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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