Moan for me like Helen Keller
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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