I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I don't deserve a penis
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
