I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize