I hate your face
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
