just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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