She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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