are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
