I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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