she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
