Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
