okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
