Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
