Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize