the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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