when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
