At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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