So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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