Can i not drive my cunt home
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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