it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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