we're blogging at a bar
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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