Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
