Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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