Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Damn victory sex feels great
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
