Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
