i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
