I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
