We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
