p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Randomize
